Banged head - aftereffects

My last post now seems like a frustrated Indian blabbering, sitting miles away. So this new blog comes more directed on 'the central focus of my life' - ME :D

I'm hurt. I'm LITERALLY hurt. Got 8 stitches on my forehead. A 4.5 cm scar that I will probably carry for life. Dont bother how it happened and what. In short I slipped in the bathroom and hit my head hard. Finally a doctor in the emergency ward stitched it up. And it happened only 3 days after my 25th birthday. That time I was pretty chilled about it. But now that I think (which is an involuntary action for me), it could have been really worse. I could have gone unconscious and lied bleeding the bathtub for hours before anyone knew. Or I could have fractured my skull, my whatever few grams of grey matter spilling out. I could have been paralysed for life - living my life as a vegetable on a wheelchair. I could have gone in coma (a bad word I'm hear more than required nowadays). Or I could have lost my memory, my power of speech or some part of normal brain function. In the very least, if I was hit 1 inch below I could have lost an eye.

Thankfully my mom was here, and I did not lose my consciousness even for a minute , it was only an injury skin deep that could be repaired and friend rushed to my help.

But.. the point is.. Suddenly all the stories about the insignificance of human life seem not so funny anymore. Every few minutes I think, what if, I did not have this moment to live. I know its a clichè.. but cant help it. I'm feeling it now. Suddently I'm more in love with the world, and yet more dettached from it than ever. I'm fine with someone shouting at me (You can too). But I'm happy to see people around, happy to be able to speak out words, happy to move about, happy to laugh, to smell, to work, to type, to see. Everybody I've liked is even lovelier. And everybody that I've found faults with, seems not so bad afterall.

That ting of ego I've carried around seems so useless now. My qualifications, my job, fact that i'm earning, living on my own -I could have lost it all in that fraction of second. What if I would have to live the rest of my life as a disabled - dependent on others for even the simplest of chores everyday?

My thought process has surely changed a bit.